Living in awe is how I would describe it. I've become so aware that there is a liberation going on. A liberation from a life that felt schizophrenic most of the time. A life where things continued to become more and more confusing and the more I would attempt to work it out or jump through the accepted "hoops" to figure it out the more drained and frustrated and exhausted I would feel.
I couldn't find many people that seemed to be figuring it out any better than I either. It seemed that everything we all desired...peace and joy...living in the realization of God's love and forgiveness...sensing his presence in such a way which made us know he was traveling with us...living loved by others and being able to love the other, all seemed to be fleeting moments that would come and go and during the times we weren't living in that awareness...well...all kinds of schizophrenic thoughts and actions would set in.
Today, I can say what I had been longing for has become much more a reality. I feel free or at least being set free of the schizo life I used to live out of the things that seem to make up most folks lives. Money, Politics, Religious obligation, social ethics and moral codes that had to be imposed on myself and others, violence, systems that seem to say they care and are here to help but always fall so painfully short....and trying to figure out the future.
With all that gone or at least exposed for what it is, I am left with awe and praise and worship.
I'm going to let something Linford Detweiler said close this out. I think it is a wonderful way of describing a life of Praise.
I cannot say it
with mere words
convincingly
So
I sing it with
the life I live
unflinchingly.
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